WORD UP

I recently came across an article online that totally blew my mind! "A Nebraska Judge bans the word rape from his courtroom." WHAT?! Can an accuser really be prohibited from using the word rape on the witness stand? Surprisingly, the answer is yes. Last fall, Judge Cheuvront granted a motion by defense attorneys barring the words rape, sexual assault, victim, assailant, and sexual assault kit from the trial of Pamir Safi—accused of raping Tory Bowen in October 2004.
My mind was racing at high speed as I read this article. I try very hard to view both sides of every story fairly in every situation. I am not a judge, attorney or part of any legal team (I've never even served as a juror) so my opinion of this language ban set forth by a Judge in Nebraska is from the perspective I naturally relate to in this situation, as a rape survivor. As I read the story I can't help but feel an aching pain for any survivor in this situation. In my opinion, asking them to avoid such words is almost like asking them to avoid the truth. What message are we sending by creating an even more complicated legal process? Not being able to use words that describe sexual intercourse without consent in a rape trial seems unrealistic. Could you imagine a murder trial taking place without ever using the words murder, slain, autopsy or victim?
I'd love to hear what you think! Check out the article at http://slate.com/id/2168758/

Kelly

No more Paris PLEASE!

In a world with so many news worthy events to report on, good and evil to speak of (I prefer the good), and stories around the globe worth sharing, WHY must we continue to hear about Paris Hilton in the headline news?! Recently on MSNBC reporter Mika Brzezinski shared my opinion. Thank you Mika. Even if this was a planned charade I still thank you for taking a stand!
Follow the link to check out what went down.
http://view.break.com/322090

News you can use!

Kelly and I have a funky fresh newsletter that we want to share with you. It will arrive via e-mail about once a month and will be chock full of information, tips and basic news you can use. Too good to be true? Not at all my friends. Follow this link and it will be headed your way.............http://www.mailermailer.com/x?oid=34029t

If loving you is wrong...we don't want to be right!
xoxox-
B

Dinner with our mentor!

Dinner with a friend that you really like and rarely get to see is such a special slice of time. Sunday night Kelly and I dined with our dear friend T.J. This is especially important because as with many influential people in our lives, they often wear many hats in how they affect who you are and what you have become.

Years ago, while students at The University of West Florida a simple twist of fate brought T.J. into our lives and it is safe to say it has never been the same since.

It was T.J.'s program that inspired us to tell our story, it was T.J.'s mentoring that helped us craft our message and it is T.J who's amazing speakers agency (CAMPUSPEAK http://www.campuspeak.com/) now represents us. Reflecting on all T.J. has done for us reminds me how incredibly generous one person can be if you are willing to reach out to them.

Many of us have dreams that seem impossible to attain. Many of us fear rejection so we never put ourselves out there. When I get nervous or afraid, I often think of T.J., someone we held in such high regard was also someone who took time to help our dream become a reality. One of the most amazing parts about having dinner with T.J. was as we talked about the future, our families and our newest hopes and dreams I thought about our history and the way life gives you opportunities to achieve your greatest hopes and ambitions- if your willing to be brave and ask for it.

Always-
Becca

Go Charlie!

We're happy to see that Charlie’s laying the smack down! Florida Governor Charlie Crist signed five crime bills this month including an extensive measure aimed at Internet predators who attempt to lure children and a law making it easier for police to track known sex offenders. The Florida cyber-crimes unit will expand from 6 employees to 56! This will allow them to set up investigative offices across the state, to work with police in catching and prosecuting sexual predators who use online chat rooms or social networking sites to find minors. Creepy predators BEWARE!
For those of you who are interested in the details, here’s the quick and dirty. Legislation to strengthen Florida’s sentencing laws for sexual offenses include the following bills:

Senate Bill 1004, the Cyber Crimes Act, which requires known sex offenders to register all e-mail addresses and instant-message names with the Florida Department of Law Enforcement. It also makes it a crime for Internet users to misrepresent their age when talking with children online, or to solicit minors for sex.

SB 1604, which tightens registration criteria for sex offenders.

SB 988, requiring special markings on driving licenses and license tags for sexual offenders, so police will know their status during a traffic stop and can check on their registration and compliance with reporting requirements. It also sets consistent standards for checking the background of employees working for contractors on school grounds.

Bad boys, bad boys whatcha gonna do? Whatcha gonna do when they come for you?!
Kelly

A Healing Moment

I am empowered. I am courageous. I am hopeful. I am determined. I am a survivor. I am incredibly proud to be all of these things, but there are sometimes vulnerable moments in my life when I am forced to remind myself of who I have become by silently repeating the words over and over in my head: strong, empowered, courageous, resilient, determined.
Survivors of sexual assault often have triggers, flashbacks or nightmares. It has been years since I was assaulted and I still at times have feelings of fear, guilt, confusion, anger, and sadness. This is totally normal! Just the other day, I came across something that reminded me of the night I was assaulted. Feelings of pain and fear instantly filled my heart and my mind quickly drifted to a very dark place. I acknowledged what was happening and without even thinking about it, I noticed that I was repeating the words, strong, resilient, empowered, thankful, courageous and determined to myself. (Yes, I talk to myself and you know what “they” say, it’s a sign of intelligence. I am super smart!) Repeating the words and focusing on the positive really helped me to work through this painful and sensitive reflection of my past. I try very hard to turn these moments of reflection into opportunities for healing. Perhaps I’ve been watching too much Dr. Phil, but it works for me.
If you’re a survivor of sexual assault, it’s important to find something that works for you, whether it’s positive self talk, kick-boxing, yoga, journaling, calling a friend or making an appointment with your therapist or a counselor. Our hearts have an amazingly powerful way of healing we just have to learn how to listen to them.
Kelly

The "IT" girls and Wild Bill

(Kelly, Bill and Becca)

Our summer's starting off to be super sweet! We're really excited to tell you about our greatest week of the summer so far and it's only just begun! Okay, so here's what we're all jacked up about- We were recently contacted by a Dateline producer and asked to work with them on a shoot for an upcoming show. The show they're putting together is focusing on safety and our part in the feature is specifically related to sexual assault and date rape drugs. Getting contacted by Dateline producers was awesome to say the very least. A few e-mails and several phone calls were exchanged, travel arrangements were made and we ended up in South Carolina with a crew of producers, camera people, sound folks and Bill Stanton, the NBC safety expert a.k.a Wild Bill. Bill has tons of safety knowledge and lots of real life experience in the field. He also happens to be a super fun dude.

While we were in S.C. we shot two interviews with Bill and hit a of couple bars under-cover, hidden cameras and secret microphones were involved and we were strapped...totally cool. It was awesome to be a part of the action and fascinating to get the inside scoop on how things go down on an undercover shoot. It was impressive, almost mind-blowing to see how much time and effort goes into a story. We're not sure when the shows going to air, but will definitely keep everyone posted. Keep an eye out for more details and remember- you never know when or where the hidden cameras and microphones might be! : )

Under cover operators and official Wild Bill groupies,

Kelly (and Becca)

Beautiful Flower

Anyone who reads our blog has probably figured out that we are HUGE Oprah fans! So, of course I watch it whenever I get the chance and do the TiVo thing too. Today's show was Oprah's Favorite Things summer special- a "must see" for sure! The show also featured an incredible musician who I totally dig, but haven't listened to in far too long, India.Arie. If you're not familiar with India or her music, I highly suggest you give her a listen. She's got a killer vibe, a super smooth sound and an absolutely gorgeous voice. She recently wrote a song for Oprah's girls in The Oprah Leadership Academy in Africa. The girls named the song "Beautiful Flower" and it is just that, beautiful. If you want to listen to a sample the link below will take you to her single on iTunes. If you're in the need for a quick little pick me up or a rhythmical dose of inspiration check it out!

http://phobos.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewAlbum?id=254234706&s=143441

Can you imagine what life would be like without amazing music? No, uh-uh, never and I'm so glad we don't have to! Jam on my friends, jam on.
Kelly

Our first YouTube experience

Watch out world...we're coming into the YouTube generation. Okay, so we might be a little behind in the times, but we plan to catch up fast! Follow the link below and check out our video! Rate it if you'd like but please be gentle since this is our YouTube debut.
Feel free to forward and spread the word. Let's Talk About "IT"
On our way to being YouTube regulars,
K & B

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wp7qs0SgyLE

I think this is the start of a beautiful relationship...

In the past few months many of you may recall me talking about (or blog readers- writing about) one of my hero's, Jessica Weiner. Jessica, is an amazing author , inspirational speaker, television personality, the Global Ambassador for the Dove Fund and so much more.

I reached out to Jess a few months back just to thank her for her influence on my life. I assume she gets these such e-mails often and sincerely expected nothing in return- not even a response. I just wanted her to know how much her work has meant to me.

Never underestimate the power and kindness of our hero's!

Jess, wrote back saying she appreciated the work Kelly and I were doing, she went on to say we should find a time to meet up and hang (this was cool beyond my wildest dreams), further she offered and is featuring us as Actionist's in her monthly newsletter and has asked us to be members of Team Jess on her web site. Please stop reading for a moment and visit http://www.withjess.com/.

Ok, so now my love was flourishing as I was floored by her immense kindness.

It gets better.

We actually hung out with Jess in California recently and let me say...despite all our expectations and respect for her. This rock star was even more incredible in person.

The purpose of this note is two-fold. One, never be afraid to put yourself out there. I could have spent my whole life never sharing Jessica's impact on me and I would have been fine. Her words and her works would have still been a point of reflection and inspiration in my life. But, possibilities I NEVER imagined now exist because I simply opened myself up and put some well deserved love back into the universe.

Second, go visit Jess's site http://www.withjess.com/. Check out our stuff on there and then buy all her books and goods for everyone you know and love.

Please check it out and let me know what you think. Subscribe to her newsletter (then you can see us in there in the future). Plus, if have yet to subscribe to our funky fresh newsletter hit us up http://www.kellyandbecca.com/.

Also, Kelly and I are getting ready to launch a new addition to our campaign.

Sisters 4 Empowerment & Brothers 4 Change

We think this will be a very exciting way to get the message out! Stay tuned for hot off the presses information coming VERY SOON!

We know you are going to love it.

xoxoxo
Always-
Becca

http://www.uniteforchange.com/
Stand Up! Speak Out!
Let's Talk About "IT"

Cruising the Pacific Highway

The day after our UCSD gig we had a few hours to check out San Diego before we headed home. We started things off with a delicious Mexican style breakfast (we were just 30 quick momentos from the border) at the Broken Yolk Cafe and for some reason felt the need to snap a quick pic of the egg shaped menu. We are so easily amused. After breakfast we caught some waves...well not really, but we did take pictures of them! See- Becca's pictured below enjoying the cool California breeze. We cruised the California Pacific Highway just like so many people do in the movies. How cool! In our action packed 3 hour cram before we had to be at the airport we managed to squeeze in a quick trip to an estuary to learn about the land and the animals that reside in the protected waters. Then we stopped off the highway to watch local surfers do their thing and ended our afternoon with a drive through the beach front neighborhoods to check out the fabulous homes with spectacular views. Oh, and we even stopped at a brand new Trader Joe's for some healthy snacks for the long plane ride home. After just 24 hours in San Diego, I totally understand what all the the hype is about, it's a gorgeous place, with perfect weather, great people and amazing coastal views.
So once again, Cali was good to us and we're looking forward to coming back soon!

University of California San Diego

Our last gig of the semester was in a picture perfect location on a super cool campus and the best part is that we got a chance to meet and work with lots of extremely passionate and supportive students. UCSD brought the noise for sure! Their Take Back the Night event has become quite the tradition at UCSD and we were totally impressed with the entire evening and honored to be a part of it all. The students who put the event together were absolutely wonderful and such amazing hosts! They were able to create a tremendously warm, inviting and supportive space and worked hard to provide an opportunity for the campus community to come together and speak out against sexual assault. We were moved and inspired by the many students who courageously came forward to speak in front of hundreds of students. For some of them, it was their first time sharing their deeply private and raw emotion. I am so proud of each of them for being so incredibly brave. Personally, this was a very healing experience for me and I am sure it was for many others as well. It was an awe inspiring night, an evening that took my breath away and filled my heart with hope. I know that I have said many times before that the students we meet inspire me to continue to live my mission to speak out against sexual violence, but after an event like this, I can't help but repeat it again...these students were such a huge inspiration to me! They touched my soul in a very gentle way that reminded me that so many people genuinely care and will not give up.
More hopeful, determined and focused then ever,
Kelly

Holy Hamilton!

(Scott Hamilton and Kelly in the San Diego Airport)

Celebrity spotting on the road... We were boarding our plane in Nashville when I spotted Scott Hamilton (for those of you who are not fans, he's an extremely talented ice skater). I was super excited to see him because my Grandma is a HUGE Hamilton fan! I of course turned into a total goober and felt nervous to ask him to take a photo with me as a gift to my Grandma, but Becca was calm and cool and made the move for me. Scott, or I guess I should say, Mr. Hamilton was very nice and waited for us when we got off the plane in Cali to snap a quick pic.
Skate or die!
K & B

The Media's Sexist Campaign Coverage

Produced by the National Organization of Women

With female as well as male commentators getting into the action, here are a few of the burning questions of the 2008 race, according to our friends in the media:

Is Hillary Clinton's voice grating? Chris Matthews has gone out of his way to portray Clinton as a nagging housewife, with a voice that makes manly men cringe. On NBC's The Chris Matthews Show on April 28, he was at it again, asking this burning question about Clinton's performance at the Democratic debate: "Did she have the right modulation? Was she calm and grown up? Or was there a little bit of stridency in the voice still? . . . [W]as she shrill? Was she strident? Or was she solid?" Panelist Katty Kay from the BBC Washington Bureau responded with the absurd accusation that Clinton was "shouting" in the debate and criticized her "tone of voice."

Is John Edwards too feminine? The recent controversy over Edwards' expensive haircuts allowed the press to pull out the old "Breck girl" nickname they hyped during the 2004 campaign. On April 23 Adam Nagourney of The New York Times took credit for introducing the public to this slur, which originated in the Bush camp, and then blamed Edwards for keeping it going. In an April 21 New York Times column, Maureen Dowd wrote: "Whether or not the country is ready to elect a woman president or a black president, it's definitely not ready for a metrosexual in chief." She added: "In presidential politics, it's all but impossible to put the man in manicure. Be sensitive, but not soft. Effete is never effective."

Is Barack Obama's wife emasculating? When Michelle Obama portrayed her husband as an everyday kind of guy, members of the media twisted it into a threat to his masculinity. Matthews asked his panel of pundits: "Do you think Obama wishes he could dial Michelle back a notch?" For months now, Dowd has been fretting that Obama comes off as weak, calling him "Obambi" and "a Dreamboy" and comparing him to "Scarlett O'Hara" and "a puppy." Dowd even fires off two gender-based insults for the price of one, with: "If Hillary is in touch with her masculine side, Barry is in touch with his feminine side." (Yes, Dowd takes the liberty of shortening Barack to Barry.)

Is Al Gore too fat to run for president? Despite Gore's achievements, and the belated credit he's receiving for his work on global warming, the media can't help but snicker at his weight. In an April 15 Washington Post article titled "Gore '08: Does He Round Up or Down?" writer Sridhar Pappu declares: "Yes, we've certainly seen a lot of Al Gore lately. And there's a lot of Al Gore to see. Calling Planet Girth!" He tells us that we'll know Gore is serious about running for president when he loses some weight. Pappu gets in a dig at Obama, too: "There are moments where one fears that if Obama were to lose any weight he'd be on the cover of Us Weekly with Lindsay Lohan."

Even the Republicans aren't immune to this foolishness. Dowd claims that: "The Daddy Party, sick with desire for a daddy, is like a lost child."
These petty criticisms take the place of substantive campaign coverage, and they play on our society's lingering discomfort with women and men who step the least bit outside traditional gender roles or violate our national obsession with body image. Does this sound productive to you? If we are to elect a president who can help turn this country around, someone who will advance rather than dismantle women's and civil rights, then voters need real information about the candidates and their platforms.

Learn more and speak out at http://www.now.org/issues/media/070501petition.html

Oprah Part Deux!

Ok, so following our amazing experience as audience members at The Oprah Winfrey show, the producers mentioned they were looking for America's most eligible bachelors 30-55. Immediately we began racking our brains for the man of many women's desire. Looks, wit, charm and intelligence.

Boo-ya!

Our friend Matt.

Matt is this great guy that has no idea what a super fly catch he is. Really, no idea.

So we thought- this is our guy. We were not even the first of his pals to call and suggest he apply. Too bad Matt was not all that interested. Taping would interfere with his upcoming trip to Florida. He was excited about coming to a hockey playoff game in Tampa (Matt lives in St. Louis) and seeing friends. See, what we mean- a really nice guy! Yet, another reason we felt he must apply.

So after a couple of calls. Matt went for it.

And what do you know.....they called him within an hour and shortly after Matt was selected as one of the final fifty.

As you can imagine, Matt's experience at The Oprah show may have been a little more exciting than ours.

If you want to learn more about Matt or the other bachelors (the show aired last Friday) then visit www.Oprah.com.

Always-
Becca and Kelly