Be a Role Model and Work it Like a Supermodel

Be a Role Model and Work it Like a Supermodel: Helping Students Build Healthy Relationships

By Kelly Addington

Working in the world of higher education we are faced with many challenges. We hear countless stories and are often familiar with the intimate details of student's lives. Whether we like it or not, students are seeking guidance and approval from us not only in an academic sense but also to help empower them to make good choices in their personal lives. Campus professionals sometimes get stuck in crisis management mode, on top of that, the "to do" lists are endless and the weekly hours often go way beyond the standard 40. Some days it may not seem like it but your actions are changing student's lives. You are mentors, mediators, educators and role models. By the way, please allow me to insert a giant thank you here. Being a good role model when it comes to healthy relationships is a chance to focus on the little things we can say and do to make a big difference. Or as I like to say, "Be a role model and work it like a supermodel."

My work as an anti-violence activist, campus professional and experience in working with survivors of sexual assault as well as their family, friends and partners has lead me to focus on what I believe to be one of the biggest issues facing students today— learning how to best communicate with those around us. By adapting our voices to speak the language of empowerment we can be both positive and honest when dealing with a student's needs and helping to create a culture that is preventative versus reactive. When it comes to speaking this language I have found a few quick tips that help me in my pursuit of supermodel status.

Create opportunities of enlightenment.
Take a moment that's average and turn it into something more. If a student mentions they're stressed about their current relationship, let them know they can talk to you. Taking a few minutes to really listen and help them find resolution can make a world of difference.

Respect yourself and others.
Respect is an essential part of any relationship, but sometimes we forget that it starts with respecting yourself. Respect and confidence can be contagious! Be confident in who you are and what you stand for and encourage your students to do the same.

A lesson of honesty and accountability.
Communicate openly and truthfully. It's okay to acknowledge questionable behavior as long as it is done without judgment. Sometimes individuals need to be reminded that they have control over their actions as well as their reactions.

Contribute to a campus and community free of violence.
Be a positive non-violent role model for students by using language and actions that support healthy and loving relationships. Provide a safe and comfortable environment in which students can express themselves and make healthy choices.

Encourage students to create their own solution.
This can be anything from better lighting and safety on campus to adding kosher and vegan food choices in the dining hall. Empowering students to be the change agent is teaching them to be a good citizen and a great leader.

Let students know they are not alone.
You are fun, honest, experienced and non-judgmental, so of course students feel close to you and are likely to come to you first with an issue. Please remind them that there are professional resources available on campus such as the counseling or health center and encourage students to take advantage them.

Our leaders of tomorrow are being shaped by you today. As a role model who works it like a supermodel you are sharing your wisdom strength, time, and talents to make the world of higher education a place where students can exceed their own expectations. It is a full circle moment when we realize that we have become to someone else what our mentors are to us. There is a reason you chose to devote your lives to working in higher education, perhaps it was a role model of your own?

For more information about communicating with students in regards to sexual violence, healthy relationships and everything in between you can contact Kelly or Becca at info@kellyandbecca.com.

Speak out!

Friends-

Here is a great opportunity to work with one of our favorite She-ra's and to make a difference to many others. Check out the note below and please share with all members of your posse.

xo

B

Looking for women to interview!
Do you have an Eating Disorder but nobody seems to have noticed? Are you having trouble getting treatment because you don't appear 'sick'? If this sounds like you or someone you know, please help me write a powerful story for a national women's magazine. I am looking for brave women ages 21 - 45 who have struggled with eating disorders in the past or are currently struggling with Anorexia, Bulimia,EDNOS or Bing Eating disorder. This article will be a positive, proactive approach to sharing with the world that eating disorders come in all shapes,sizes, races, and ages. I welcome women with a diverse range of body types, stories, and less obvious signs of eating disorder behavior to share their stories and raise awareness of the many women whose suffering goes unnoticed or untreated. Please Email info@jessweiner.com with the following information: - Name - Phone number - Age - Photo- A paragraph describing your eating disorder history, any treatment, and why people may not have known you were sick. I will keep your personal information in confidence BUT you must be willing to have your name and photograph used in the article should you be selected.I will need to find a variety of stories, so please spread the word and send this message to a friend!

Cottey College

It's our last gig of the semester and it also happens to be my Mom's birthday (Happy Birthday Mom!) Just look at all those super sexually empowered kiddos sporting their new sexually empowered swag. We are so proud! Thanks to the ladies of Cottey who treated us like one of their own.

Sex & Love

Dr. Jen McWeeny’s Sex and Love Philosophy class at John Carroll University planned an entire week of awareness and we were lucky enough to score the Monday night spot. It was such an honor to work with this group of students and their community and rather interesting as well as inspiring to learn what their unique philosophy class was all about. Apparently Love and Sex is a common course in philosophy departments. We had no idea! This particular course was designed from scratch by Dr. McWeeny as a means to give the students an academic forum to discuss and learn about domestic abuse and sexual assault. Is that awesome or what?

Dr. McWeeny discovered a unique way of challenging students not only to re-examine what they believe and why, but to think out loud and push beyond what they read and learn to find something new that can and should be done to change their campus, community and the world. She has truly inspired the students at John Carroll to make a difference and for that we thank her a million times over.

Becca and I always tell people that we continue to be inspired by the students and professionals we get the opportunity to work with and this is another amazing example of how totally lucky we are to have people like Dr. McWeeny and her students walk into our lives.

Truly lucky and ever so grateful,
Kelly

Da Canes!

Just a few of the members of No Zebra's at Miami.

We had such a great time at the University of Miami. We got a chance to have a private session with a group of students leaders prior to our keynote and if these folks are any indication of the quality of the students at Miami then da Canes have definitely got it going on. These students were eager, smart, funny, enthusiastic and ready to bring positive change to their campus community. I can't wait to hear about all the great things they are able to accomplish in the coming years. Rock on Miami!

Barry University

The smart, talented and beautiful Eileen brought us back to Barry this year to speak to the ladies on campus and we are so glad she did! We had a fabulous time hanging out with these girls. It is such an honor for us to meet and work with college students and campus professionals, and especially cool when they're sporting our campaign t-shirts. : ) Our new friends at Barry are feeling super sexually empowered and we could not be more proud!

Roll Tide!

We arrived almost an hour early for our gig at Alabama...this is a record and quite a change to our usual 5 minutes late arrival time. We are full of surprises! To kill time we explored the student union and hung out with one super fly mascot (Kelly strikes a pose above). This was our second time at the University of Alabama and since it happens to be one of our all time favorite campuses we were thrilled to have another chance to visit. A big thanks to sista' Kimberly for hosting us. Roll Tide Baby!