You Are The One Documentary Film

Its official, we are making a documentary. We’re still trying to settle into the thought that someone wants to use their immense talent to develop and produce a film about our journey. The project mastermind is filmmaker Barbara Rosenthal. Barbara has been making films since she was seven, her first effort being a Super 8 take on the Arab/Israeli conflict, loosely based on "How the Grinch Stole Christmas". So issues based art has always been a part of her repertoire. We are stoked to work with Barbara and the rest of the crew on this project and can’t wait to see where this new adventure takes us. Since we will be shooting while we travel, let us know if you would like us to consider adding your campus or community to the film.

The process of making "You Are The One" will occur in two phases. The first phase involves accumulating support from individuals to kick-start field production and initial editing. Phase two will involve grants that will allow us to finish the film, enter it in festivals, and create a distribution network. Our distribution efforts will be focused on college campus communities in an effort to change the culture of sexual assault.

This week, is the kick off of the fundraising efforts to get this important and exciting project rolling. You can support this effort by investing a few dollars towards the development of our independent film designed to help shift the campus culture. Or simply, share this announcement with your networks. No matter how you choose to help, we will be forever grateful for your support! To learn more about this project, watch the fundraising trailer and to donate please visit youaretheone.bbnow.org. 

Interested in being a part of the documentary? Send and emailt to info@kellyandbecca.com to learn more.

"Like” the project on facebook!

Steps to Empower Survivors of Sexual Assault

Believe them - Believe them without question or hesitation is one
of the most important things you can do. Never question a person’s
actions, details of the assault or why they feel the way they do.

Help them explore their options - Empower them! Let them know
they are not alone and remind them of available resources (campus
counselor, campus or community rape crisis center, women’s center,
hospital, police department, etc). It is always up to the survivor to
make choices that will affect their healing process.

Listen to them - Offer your support and time. Let them know they
can talk to you about their experience when they are ready.
Never blame them - Say clearly and with care, “It was not your
fault.” It is important that you help them understand that no matter
what happened, it was not their fault.

Allow them to react - Remember, there are many ways for a survivor
to respond. It is important not to ask a lot of probing questions.
Your presence can reassure the survivor and allow them to work out
their feelings in a safe environment.

Helpful Phrases:
• What do you want to do?
• How do you feel about that?
• Do you want to?
• What would you like?
• What is the best thing that could happen?
• What is the worst thing that could happen?

Phrases to Avoid:
• Analyzing, interpreting: you’re doing that because…
• Dominating or interrupting conversation
• Warning or instructing: If you don’t ____, you will regret it.
• Questioning or grilling: When did it happen,
where did it happen, why did you do that?
• Offering solutions: I think you should____.
• Providing overly positive evaluations: I’m sure you will be fine.

Learn more and get other great tips at http://www.uniteforchange.com/

Be a Role Model and Work it Like a Supermodel

Be a Role Model and Work it Like a Supermodel: Helping Students Build Healthy Relationships

By Kelly Addington

Working in the world of higher education we are faced with many challenges. We hear countless stories and are often familiar with the intimate details of student's lives. Whether we like it or not, students are seeking guidance and approval from us not only in an academic sense but also to help empower them to make good choices in their personal lives. Campus professionals sometimes get stuck in crisis management mode, on top of that, the "to do" lists are endless and the weekly hours often go way beyond the standard 40. Some days it may not seem like it but your actions are changing student's lives. You are mentors, mediators, educators and role models. By the way, please allow me to insert a giant thank you here. Being a good role model when it comes to healthy relationships is a chance to focus on the little things we can say and do to make a big difference. Or as I like to say, "Be a role model and work it like a supermodel."

My work as an anti-violence activist, campus professional and experience in working with survivors of sexual assault as well as their family, friends and partners has lead me to focus on what I believe to be one of the biggest issues facing students today— learning how to best communicate with those around us. By adapting our voices to speak the language of empowerment we can be both positive and honest when dealing with a student's needs and helping to create a culture that is preventative versus reactive. When it comes to speaking this language I have found a few quick tips that help me in my pursuit of supermodel status.

Create opportunities of enlightenment.
Take a moment that's average and turn it into something more. If a student mentions they're stressed about their current relationship, let them know they can talk to you. Taking a few minutes to really listen and help them find resolution can make a world of difference.

Respect yourself and others.
Respect is an essential part of any relationship, but sometimes we forget that it starts with respecting yourself. Respect and confidence can be contagious! Be confident in who you are and what you stand for and encourage your students to do the same.

A lesson of honesty and accountability.
Communicate openly and truthfully. It's okay to acknowledge questionable behavior as long as it is done without judgment. Sometimes individuals need to be reminded that they have control over their actions as well as their reactions.

Contribute to a campus and community free of violence.
Be a positive non-violent role model for students by using language and actions that support healthy and loving relationships. Provide a safe and comfortable environment in which students can express themselves and make healthy choices.

Encourage students to create their own solution.
This can be anything from better lighting and safety on campus to adding kosher and vegan food choices in the dining hall. Empowering students to be the change agent is teaching them to be a good citizen and a great leader.

Let students know they are not alone.
You are fun, honest, experienced and non-judgmental, so of course students feel close to you and are likely to come to you first with an issue. Please remind them that there are professional resources available on campus such as the counseling or health center and encourage students to take advantage them.

Our leaders of tomorrow are being shaped by you today. As a role model who works it like a supermodel you are sharing your wisdom strength, time, and talents to make the world of higher education a place where students can exceed their own expectations. It is a full circle moment when we realize that we have become to someone else what our mentors are to us. There is a reason you chose to devote your lives to working in higher education, perhaps it was a role model of your own?

For more information about communicating with students in regards to sexual violence, healthy relationships and everything in between you can contact Kelly or Becca at info@kellyandbecca.com.