Monday, March 16, 2009


In honor of spring break we posed a Sexversation® to a diverse group of experts, professionals, and simply people who love to talk about sex.

Do our sexual boundaries change while on vacation or spring break, and if so is that okay? (Ex: What happens in Mexico stays in Mexico.)
We’re going to share several of their responses with you over the coming week to help you get your Sexversation® started. Because we don’t believe in censorship, we’ll share the answers as is. While we may not have answered the question the same way, Sexversations® is all about personal opinion. We hope you can relate and we certainly hope you will Sexversate!

Here’s what Bryan Kutner had to say-
Last year, I traveled to Brazil with some friends, one of whom had a well heeled but persistent Brazilian nipping at her panties. Though my friend was on the brink of moving from casual to serious with a guy back home, she wasn't sure they'd continue when she returned. So she bagged the Brazilian--literally, with condoms pilfered from my stash.

If this Brazilian dude had been her neighbor, would she have so readily turned around and welcomed him into her lap? Probs not. The distance made a difference. The time zone changed, and so did her boundaries.

There's a moral tone to the question, "Is that okay?" Of course it's okay that sexual boundaries change when we travel. It happens naturally: if you're the kind of person who enjoys eating new foods, staying in a new city, socializing with new people, why wouldn't your sex life shift when you're in a different part of the world?

That said, there's a chance that what happens in Brazil doesn't always just stay in Brazil. Will my friend feel guilty about the sex she had? Will she carry something back other than the smile on her face, say a sexually transmitted infection? What's her emotional investment; I mean, is she gonna pine for this guy when she's back home? Could she end up fetishizing Brazilian men (note the dog analogy in my description), now that she's had this new experience?

Those are all questions that she probably didn't think all the way through before she had sex on vacation. It's actually unrealistic to think that she would. After all, vacation is a time to enjoy being away from the humdrum of daily life, to take risks, try something new, carry back what you got and see how it fits into life at home. In the end, whatever she got from pushing her boundaries while away most certainly had an effect on her life back on the ranch. Was it good? Was it bad? Who knows. But I bet she learned something about herself in the process and, barring any serious harm to her already precarious relationship or to her being, it was fun to try something new.
Send a shout to sexual health educating brother at his home on facebook

What’s on Doc Brown’s mind-
I love to talk about sex! Here is what I think about all of this...
Do our sexual boundaries change while on vacation or spring break and if (ex: What happens in Mexico stays in Mexico.)
I would say yes and no in regards to the boundaries question.
Yes especially if you drink alcohol and/or drugs, because these substances change our ability to make conscious decisions, lowers our inhibitions, our wants take president over our judgment or rules or commitments we have made to other people (our BFs, GFs, husbands wife's) and also if we do not fear judgment, humiliation or consequences when we are drunk or stoned then we will do more and more risky behavior.

Yes if you are a person who can easily avoid or doesn't feel guilt or can rationalize your way out of breaking a rule or commitment if you have made with someone else.

No if your character is to be prude or normal or reserved and you don't drink alcohol and you don't get influenced by friends or being in an exotic location, you will probably not be affected

Is it OK? --- Not me to judge/ The person should judge him or herself in his own actions and be responsible of the consequences if any of his/her behavior at home or on vacation/

Dr. Cindy Brown- Author, Speaker, Coach, Therapist

Jina Bacarr shares her thoughts (and new book!)-
As a writer of exotic, erotic romance, I ask my characters this question all the time. I believe if you let your sexual boundaries change while on vacation, you should be ready to accept the consequences (and bring the condoms). If you're in a committed relationship and you and your guy are looking for adventure, then skinny dipping in the Caribbean or joining the Mile High Club before you land in Paris could be right for you. But what if you lock eyes with a certain someone across a crowded room? What then?

Letting your sexual urges override your common sense with that suave guy you met in a club in an exotic locale can have an interesting and provocative outcome, but it can also turn deadly. Ask my heroine in Cleopatra's Perfume (April 2009), the story of a woman on holiday who has an insatiable appetite for sexual adventure in 1939 Europe.

The bottom line: if you wouldn't do it at home, don't do it on the road. Too many dangerous curves…

Lia Hollander thinks it’s a comfort thing-
Personally, I think that ones sexual boundaries shouldn't change. And that includes vacation. If you are comfortable doing something sexually, you should always be comfortable, no matter the location. If you can't admit to something you are doing, you aren't ready to be doing it.
I think that alcohol, rather than vacation or spring break is often the catalyst for people doing things they wouldn't normally, do. Exhibit A: Mardi Gras.
However, I also think that people use alcohol, or "Oh, I was drunk" to excuse things that they deep down really wanted to do, but were afraid would be judged harshly by others. Being drunk is a way to excuse a behavior they deep down really wanted to do.
So, if you enjoy flashing your breasts to strangers, or you enjoy having a new, nameless sex partner every night, more power to you. But I hope that you are staying safe, staying sober and doing these things for your pleasure.
Thanks to Bryan, Dr. Brown, Jina and Lia for getting today's Sexversation® started. Stay tuned for tommorow's comments.

If you enjoy this new feature of the blog let us know and we’ll keep on keep’n on. Leave a comment or hit us up at . Also, you can join the Sexversation® on Facebook


Anonymous said...

I have got to say that I love this addition to your site, blog and bsuiness. Sexversations is such a great idea. What a great way to get people talking about sex. BTW- also loved the question this week....keep 'em coming please :)
University of South Florida

Anonymous said...

My friends and I stick with the "what happens on spring break stays on spring break" philosophy.