Sunday, April 12, 2009


A recent Sexversation® with our homeboy Ian Coburn, author of "God is a Woman: Dating Disasters" lead to the question, “What constitutes a woman as being promiscuous? What about a man?” We thought keeping the Sexversation® within the confines of our trio would be, well just plain rude. Our southern manners kicked in and prompted us to share baby, share. So here’s Ian’s response. He keeps it real and as always, humorous. Read, enjoy and feel free to join the Sexversation®! To learn more about Ian visit his web-site

What constitutes a woman as being promiscuous? What about a man?

I think we all know the answer to this one, at least from society's POV. Generally speaking, a guy is never promiscuous; he's a stud if he gets laid by a bunch of different women and revered by other guys and magazines like Maxim as someone to aspire to be. A guy getting laid is only bad for him if he is hammered and will go home with anyone... and then he must hope the photos of him hanging all over her don't show up on Face book. (Or if the woman a guy is sleeping with twitters during the actual sex--not good! "This guy is lame, he has like one move and he's already overused it; when will this end, already?") If a woman has sex outside a monogamous relationship she is promiscuous (except during spring break... just trying to help some of the guys out...). Of course, I deem these definitions as pointless and stupid. You'll be much happier if you do the same. I've had sex on first dates--if that makes my date a slut, I'm a slut. If it makes me cool, it makes her cool. Case closed. The real question is why the double-standard?

The difference lies herein: Typically, what happens between a guy and a woman from the guy's POV is between the guy and the woman. He doesn't discuss it much beyond "She looks great naked, nice rack, we did it standing up in front of a mirror." And most other guys don't even want to hear that much. What happens between a guy and a woman from the woman's POV is between the guy, the woman, her friends, her mom, family, her church choir group, her softball team, Oprah, every woman everywhere... It's discussed in far more detail--there's a lot of questions, is she gonna see him again, where's it headed, what were his moves...? Whenever you create that much discussion, you create judgment. And perhaps jealously. Ergo, women who have sex when they want it get labeled promiscuous. Guys avoid the label because it's just not discussed that much so it isn't really given that much thought.

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