A Little Piece of Me

by Sabrina Sadler, Social Outreach Intern

I am a Survivor of Sexual Assault.

I have had the opportunity to share my story with my friends, my family, my fellow collegians, and complete strangers. During this period of my healing process my case was put on hold.

Recently my case got a Lead.

Exciting right? But what does this mean for me?

I believe that one of the most healing things to do as a survivor of sexual assault is to share your story, whether it is with one person or many. Each one of us, who is a survivor of sexual assault, holds a different story within, waiting to be told, and it is these stories that tie us together and give us strength.

Since my case has recently been re-opened, I am faced with the chance of my case going to trial, which means if I want the best case for myself, I can no longer openly talk about my story until it is closed.

So in the mean time I wait…and wait…and wait.

Cases don’t come and go as fast as they do on ‘Law and Order’, but I wish they did.

Our justice system is a timely process and everything has to be done right, in order for my case to be strong.

I will never forget the day I got the phone call from my detective saying we have a lead. I was caught completely off guard and feeling every emotion possible…

Relief. Sadness. Scared. Happy. Terrified.

I couldn’t believe this day had finally come.

Now that it has been a little while since that phone call, I continue to wait for my case to take its course, but everyday I contemplate if the silence is worth keeping.

I look at Kelly and Becca, and think how amazing it is for them to travel to various colleges and share their story, the story of Kelly’s Sexual Assault and the story of Kelly and Becca’s Friendship.

For those of you who have seen the 2020 episode of the DeAnza College Gang Rape. I’m thankful for Lauren, Chief, and April to share the story, and speak on behalf of the Survivor.

It is very empowering to share such a personal and tragic story with others. Sexual Assault is about having power and control. As a survivor we try to gain that power and control back.

In my situation, I sometimes feel the Justice system takes my power and control away from me, once again.

I do have the choice to speak or not to speak, but that is weighed on the fact of having a strong or weak case.